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All of us have narcissistic TRAITS. Some of us even develop a narcissistic PERSONALITY, or a narcissistic STYLE. Moreover, narcissism is a SPECTRUM of behaviors - from the healthy to the utterly pathological, from lesser to greater to greatest (a condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD) to the ultimate (malignant or psychopathic narcissism). Healthy narcissism develops in infancy and is the indispensable foundation of one's sense of self-worth (self-esteem and self-confidence). It is a form of private language with a narrative aimed at an internal audience of one. Healthy narcissism is, therefore, an organizational and hermeneutic (interpretative) principle of the personality. Pathological narcissism is a private religion with the False Self as the godhead and the True Self as the sacrificial lamb. The single worshipper in this faith is the narcissist. The audience is external and its feedback is used to regulate the narcissist's sense of self-worth and fulfil his ego functions. Both forms of narcissism require creative acts and creativity in both maintenance and exegesis. The DSM V re-defines personality disorders thus: "The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits." According to the Alternative DSM V Model for Personality Disorders (p.767), the following criteria must be met to diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder (in parentheses my comments): Moderate or greater impairment in personality functioning in either identity, or self-direction (should be: in both.) Identity The narcissist keeps referring to others excessively in order to regulate his self-esteem (really, sense of self-worth) and for "self-definition" (to define his identity.) His self-appraisal is exaggerated, whether it is inflated, deflated, or fluctuating between these two poles and his emotional regulation reflects these vacillations. (Finally, the DSM V accepted what I have been saying for decades: that narcissists can have an "inferiority complex" and feel worthless and bad; that they go through cycles of ups and downs in their self-evaluation; and that this cycling influences their mood and affect). Self-direction The narcissist sets goals in order to gain approval from others (narcissistic supply; the DSM V ignores the fact that the narcissist finds disapproval equally rewarding as long as it places him firmly in the limelight.) The narcissist lacks self-awareness as far as his motivation goes (and as far as everything else besides.) The narcissist's personal standards and benchmarks are either too high (which supports his grandiosity), or too low (buttresses his sense of entitlement, which is incommensurate with his real-life performance.) Impairments in interpersonal functioning in either empathy or intimacy (should be: in both.) Empathy The narcissist finds it difficult to identify with the emotions and needs of others, but is very attuned to their reactions when they are relevant to himself (cold empathy.) Consequently, he overestimates the effect he has on others or underestimates it (the classic narcissist never underestimates the effect he has on others - but the inverted narcissist does.) Intimacy The narcissist's relationships are self-serving and, therefore shallow and superficial. They are centred around and geared at the regulation of his self-esteem (obtaining narcissistic supply for the regulation of his labile sense of self-worth.) The narcissist is not "genuinely" interested in his intimate partner's experiences (implying that he does fake such interest convincingly.) The narcissist emphasizes his need for personal gain (by using the word "need", the DSM V acknowledges the compulsive and addictive nature of narcissistic supply). These twin fixtures of the narcissist's relationships render them one-sided: no mutuality or reciprocity (no intimacy). Pathological personality traits Antagonism characterized by grandiosity and attention-seeking Grandiosity The aforementioned feeling of entitlement. The DSM V adds that it can be either overt or covert (which corresponds to my taxonomy of classic and inverted narcissist.) Grandiosity is characterized by self-centredness; a firmly-held conviction of superiority (arrogance or haughtiness); and condescending or patronizing attitudes. Attention-seeking The narcissist puts inordinate effort, time, and resources into attracting others (sources of narcissistic supply) and placing himself at the focus and centre of attention. He seeks admiration (the DSM V gets it completely wrong here: the narcissist does prefer to be admired and adulated, but, failing that, any kind of attention would do, even if it is negative.) Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3

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Click to subscribe. Thank you! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKZ00BacSyrjJ1sQzVAw1bw?sub_confirmation=1 The current video:【Ba Duan Jin】 by Zhang Qi, China national champion Zhang Qi https://youtu.be/mc1jeKAb6tM 【Ba Duan Jin】 by Yang BaiLong, Professor of Beijing Sports University https://youtu.be/Uf8bDFrYrRc 【Ba Duan Jin】 by Zhang Qi and Yang BaiLong, https://youtu.be/rVr-P2A8duw 【Ba Duan Jin】 by Li Hui, the president of British Health Qigong Association https://youtu.be/L2Y29ek_YSk 【Ba Duan Jin】 old video by Li Hui , the president of British Health Qigong Association https://youtu.be/gsf5X_-MAU8 This is a simplified full version of BaDuanJin, officially approved by the National General Administration of Sports of China, demonstrated by the Ba Duan Jin China national champion Zhang Qi. This set of BaDuanJin is also taught by and demontrated by Yang BaiLong. It is also very good and you can find it on YouTube. English voice and subtitle are added now to help English speakers. BaDuanJin ( Eight section Brocade, eight Pieces of Brocade, 8 Silken Movements, or 8 Silk Weaving) is one of the most popular Chinese Qi Gong Form. It has been used for around 1000 years to improve health. This form has eight separate sections; each section can help a different physical area and Qi Meridian to improve health. It is very easy to learn and very convenient to practice. Reference: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Chinese-style exercises such as Tai Chi and Baduanjin have become popular among patients during the novel coronavirus outbreak, and have been recommended by medical experts to ordinary people to improve physical strength for all ages. Many patients whose lung function level was only 20 to 30 percent of that of a normal person. But by continuing to take medicine, walking, and practicing Tai Chi and BaDuanJin, the patients' movement was greatly enhanced and some were even able to climb a mountain. For epidemic prevention and control, people are currently being advised to stay at home. To help people strengthen the body and develop a healthy lifestyle, the General Administration of Sport of China recently recommended a list of indoor exercises. Tai Chi, Baduanjin, and other traditional Chinese-style exercises are on the list. "The key is perseverance. It's better to practice every day," Zhang Boli, general counsel to Wuhan's Dahuashan makeshift hospital and president of Tianjin University of Traditional Chinese Medicine said. He also suggested ordinary people practice according to one's abilities and advance gradually in due order.

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The adventurer, @wimhof1 ”Iceman” creates a totally unique episode of Framgångspodden! He is famous for being able of withstanding extreme cold, he has climbed Mount Everest wearing shorts, he holds the World Record for icebaths and he is the man behind the global ’cold-shower’-trend. I went down to visit him in the Netherlands where he told me about his breathing techniques that makes it possible for him to withstand the cold and how these techniques can make us more healthy. Wim shares his techniques he use to reduce stress, anxiety and depression. And it can be implemented today! If you want to learn more about Wim Hof go visit his website: https://www.wimhofmethod.com/ Wim also have his own amazing YouTube channel with a guided breathing technique video: https://youtu.be/nzCaZQqAs9I Thank you Wim(@iceman_hof) for letting us visit you at your home and to help share the message. 332. "Ice man" Wim Hof - The secrets behind cold exposure and breathing: https://podcasts.apple.com/se/podcast/332-ice-man-wim-hof-secrets-behind-cold-exposure-breathing/id985517492?i=1000458609309&l=en Alexander Pärleros: https://www.instagram.com/alexanderparleros/ Art Svanberg (Videographer & Editor): https://www.instagram.com/artsvanberg/ #framgångspodden #alexanderparleros #wimhof

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The narcissist's communication is a cipher, it is coded. Here are two simple rules: 1. The narcissist is never sad - and always mad (at you) and bad; and 2. When the narcissist says "I am bad" (is ostensibly repentant), he means to say "I am afraid" (of the consequences of his actions) Envelope: reasonable, flexible/compromising, socially-acceptable, commonsensical Hidden/occult coded message which triggers (pushes buttons) based on shared past experiences and speech acts Hidden not accessible or comprehensible, so people tend to think that something is wrong with you when you try to share it and enlighten them Techniques: Countrtfactuality or non-facticity: big picture agreed, now to the details (shared psychosis) Victim stance and language never mind what you do or say, you are always the abuser (role): comfort zone, projective identification Projection because imagined victimhood is confabulated: encouraging ego dystony, shame, guilt tripping, self doubt Gaslighting via equivocation (“maybe”), challenge to reality testing, rewriting history Hostility disguised as formality Manipulativeness and coercion, provocation Ignoring you and your input/requests Malingering, procrastination Perfectionism Forgetfulness Neglect Truancy intentional inefficiency stubbornness pseudo-stupidity outright sabotage Use lawyers to respond Palindromic Speech There are three types of manipulative speech: Victim Child Psychopathic Lying and Confabulating Abusing Speech Acts: Three Examples Big Picture Evasiveness Alloplastic Defenses and Shifting Blame Passive-aggressive Gaslighting No Reasoning with the Mentally Ill Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3

Can a narcissist heal? Expert psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg explains. Learn more by visiting SelfLoveRecovery.com.

Think about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?

Posted by u/GalaxyDynamite - 129 votes and 71 comments

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a life-long pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a delusional sense of status, diminished ability or unwillingness to empathize with others' feelings, and interpersonally exploitative behavior. Narcissistic personality disorder is one of the sub-types of the broader category known as personality disorders.[1][2] It is often comorbid with other mental disorders and associated with significant functional impairment and psychosocial disability.[1]

r/NarcissisticAbuse: This is a safe place for people who suffered, or are currently suffering from narcissistic abuse to seek support, learn, vent …

Closure prevents moving on from trauma and abuse and retards personal growth. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3

The Narcissistic Credo I am a child tyrant emperor: infantile, petulant, moody, divine, and delusional. I am a Wunderkind: a boastful genius. I want just to play. Nothing else. To have fun. That's all (shared fantasy). I renounce reality and truth. My game is: you are my vastly inferior slaves and disciples. You must accept me as I am. You are expected to fully forgive and love me unconditionally, regardless of my conduct or misconduct, even when I inevitably hurt you badly time and again. I am immutable, opinionated, obstinate, grandiose, labile, dysregulated, and depressive. You should not try to change or fix me or to bargain with me: you are not my equals. You can play only with me, unless I let you play with others (when you are no longer my playmates, just my servants). I am entitled to take anything I want from you. I can do to you and with you anything I wish. You have no right to protest, decline, or resist my demands. You are my property, my chattel to dispose of and do with as I please. You must obey my wishes unthinkingly and promptly, never disagree with me, and even please me with your agony. You have no right to expect or demand anything from me. If I give you anything, it is because I choose to. I give only what I decide to give, usually only as little of my time, attention, knowledge, and money as absolutely necessary to keep you hooked and around as my playmates. Only I decide which game we play, based on how capriciously bored or thrilled I am at any given period. If you are not fit to play my game, I lose all interest in you. If you refuse to play my game exactly how and when I want it, or if you make any demands whatsoever, I walk away and look for a new playmate. Simple, really. And it works! I have had no reason to regret any of it over the decades of my life. Compared to the overwhelming vast majority of humanity, I am in a good place and have spent the time allotted to me on this Earth precisely as I had wanted to: my way. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3 Courtesy of Dorcas https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC43t6gMm8otGN7OONLKRRxw

Dissolving: negating the idealized snapshot of you in the narcissist's mind (internal object). Playing on amplifying the narcissist’s abandonment anxiety Note down positive, negative sentences about you. Repeatedly negate the positive, uphold the negative. Grey Rock Defiance: Intelligent? Act dumb Drop; Drop dead gorgeous? Neglect yourself, dress against his wishes. Physical weakness, illness, disability lead to catastrophizing (anticipation of looming death) and amplify abandonment anxiety. PSYCHOLOGICAL ROOTS Schizoid core is self-sufficient but empty, no sense of being. Infant turns to mother’s response to feel alive. He internalizes an external object (the mother) in order to control it. Infant wants to be desired by mother (an object of desire), to seduce her as irresistible, admirable, exciting. But wants mother to freely choose to become love slave, an internal object (tyrannical baby, terrible twos). He also wants exclusivity. But baby ends up objectifying itself, losing its own subjectivity: 1. As object of desire; and 2. Identifies his subjectivity with the object’s view of him as an object Alienation: his self is the look of the other (mother) and his otherness gives rise to it (from the outside) Baby wants to disappear, become invisible in order to avoid objectification He rejects the exciting object of desire aggressively This leads to approach-avoidance during the separation-individuation phase. Narcissists are fixated at this stage of life (are 2 years old). Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3

English only excerpts of this lecture, given in Budapest, Hungary, February 2020: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uM13pZxBLM 8 strategies to co-exist with a narcissist and survive narcissistic abuse. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3 Courtesy of Dorcas (her Instagram @teasingkafka)

Narcissists are looking for partners to provide 3 SSs: Supply, Sex, Services. Narcissists couldn’t care less if you have a high level of empathy, a low, or none. Empathy is a narcissistic injury: advice, help, support, sharing, expressing an interest (induces paranoia), and intimacy. Life is a process of becoming via insight. Insight creates empathy. Empathy is the foundation of learning because it allows for comparison. All three are impossible without access to emotions. If you have access only to negative emotions you obtain cold empathy aimed at subsuming others, making them like you, avoiding growth and learning. Where emotions are inaccessible, narcissists attempt to grasp others and themselves analytically. But such knowledge is like cramming for an exam: it is not assimilated or integrated. It dooms to compulsive repetition like some demented being or badly programmed machine in a loop. The same lessons are rediscovered with every mortification (to learn the narcissist must first decompensate, deactivate all his defenses). Access to positive emotions guarantees full fledged empathy via insight and learning and generates growth. Narcissist rejects help, advice because he knows that he is incorrigible. He discourages intimacy because of his abandonment anxiety ("if they see my true face"). The narcissist reacts with aggression to any presumption of intimacy and rejects cruelly love and caring when offered to him (via sadistic frustration, withholding, rejection, and avoidance as well as active abuse). Such presumption of love implies equality, commonness, and knowability, challenges to his grandiosity. Displays of emotions are fake, embarrassing. "Empath", "super-empath" - and, now, "(super)nova empath" - are self-aggrandizing labels used by covert narcissists online as they perpetuate and leverage their newfound eternal pro victim status to garner attention (and, sometimes, profit). To prove my point conclusively, join the cesspits that pass for empath support forums and innocently dare to suggest that someone there is not an empath. Or that she may have had a role to play in the relationship (starting with her flawed mate selection). You will instantly become the recipient of every form of abuse and malevolence known to man (or woman), far more egregious than anything you have ever endured from your narcissist. Nothing worse than the narcissistic or passive-aggression of covert narcissists (er, sorry, empaths). Friendship Men are prone to sexual overperception: they misinterpret many female gestures and behaviors as invitations to copulate then and there. To be mere friends with a woman is perceived by many men as a narcissistic injury. When a woman rejects a man sexually or romantically and friendzones him, it implies that she has judged him to be of inferior quality, defective, inadequate, lacking, and has rejected him as as a potential lover, partner, spouse, and father. Such injury can morph into narcissistic mortification if the woman offering friendship (friendzoning) used to be, at one time, the man's date, spouse, or intimate partner and had dumped him in favor of another man with whom she has had sex (at times while cheating) or with whom she had later created a family. Buy most of my books in Amazon https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3

Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html Many abusers have a specific body language. It comprises an unequivocal series of subtle -- but discernible -- warning signs. Pay attention to the way your date comports himself -- and save yourself a lot of trouble! (From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html If you are married to narcissist, here's one reason to be hopeful: There are gradations of narcissism. In my writings I refer to the extreme and ultimate form of narcissism, the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The prognosis for those merely with narcissistic traits or a narcissistic style is far better than the healing prospects of a full-fledged narcissist. Still: don't confuse shame with guilt. Narcissists feel shameful when confronted with a failure. They feel (narcissistically) injured. Their omnipotence is threatened, their sense of perfection and uniqueness is questioned. They are enraged, engulfed by self-reprimand, self-loathing and internalised violent urges. The narcissist punishes himself for failing to be God -- not for mistreating others. The narcissist makes an effort to communicate his pain and shame in order to elicit the Narcissistic Supply he needs to restore and regulate his failing sense of self-worth. In doing so, the narcissist resorts to the human vocabulary of empathy. The narcissist will say anything to obtain Narcissistic Supply. It is a manipulative ploy -- not a confession of real emotions or an authentic description of internal dynamics. (From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html You have been abused, maltreated, harrassed, and stalked. You feel that you fell prey to a narcissist or psychopath. But, you must move on from victim to survivor.No one will or can do it for you: Not your therapist, not your best friend, not your nearest family. Only you can choose survival over victimhood. (From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/sunday/audio/2018851537/dr-sam-vaknin-the-global-narcissist-database SCIENCE, 31 Jul 2022 Dr. Sam Vaknin - the global narcissist database From Sunday Morning, 11:36 am on 31 July 2022 Dr Sam Vaknin is the author of one of the first in depth books about narcissism and has a large database on narcissists which is now used globally. Not only is he an expert on the disorder, he's a clinically diagnosed narcissist himself, so he's got some good insights to share, and to beware of. He's now a visiting professor of psychology as well, and the author of the book Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited. Dr Vaknin speaks to Jim. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3

The narcissist confuses Possessiveness, driven by TERROR; Mortification (leads to INTROSPECTION); Romantic Jealousy: PAIN which results in aversion and withdrawal. Possessiveness is abandonment/separation anxiety & fear of loss. As long as object constancy (ownership of the partner taken for granted) is maintained, his partner can outsource all her sexual and emotional needs. He becomes possessive (not romantically jealous!) only when he senses imminent abandonment. The narcissist also regards any attempt to lie to him & to deceive him as a challenge to his grandiose omniscience & a sign that he is not as feared & held in awe as he imagines himself to be. The narcissist is romantically jealous only of women he “loves” (infatuation, limerence): decadent specimen who are BOTH promiscuous & sophisticated (elegant and worldly). The narcissist is never romantically jealous or possessive of women who serve as mere playmates, drivers, companions, housekeepers, & PAs. He demands their presence (no abandonment), services, or sex & pays for them. Otherwise, he wants to be left alone: solitude & solitary pursuits. The cerebral narcissist has sex (typically kinky & sadistic) only within a shared fantasy &, even then, he much prefers object constancy (adulating presence) & services to sex, so he ultimately switches to celibacy & legitimizes the outsourcing by his partner of her needs. ONLY mortification involves soul-searching & dysphoria. Romantic jealousy does not lead to introspection, only to pain. The narcissist is especially mortified by women whom he doesn’t love & considers inferior to him, precisely because their betrayal is humiliating & unexpected, a WAKEUP CALL. The narcissist can be mortified into accepting that he is a schizoid narcissist & should lead a solitary life, devoid of sex, love, and intimacy; that he is abusive (sadistic), crazy, & his own worst enemy; that all men are preferrable to him (he is irredeemably disabled & inferior, infantile, not a man); and that has disrespected & berated himself, so people disrespect, fear, hate, & are revolted by him. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html To preserve one's mental health -- one must abandon the narcissist. One must move on. Moving on is a process, not a decision or an event. First, one has to acknowledge and accept painful reality. Such acceptance is a volcanic, shattering, agonising series of nibbling thoughts and strong resistances. Once the battle is won, and harsh and agonizing realities are assimilated, one can move on to the learning phase. Learning We label. We educate ourselves. We compare experiences. We digest. We have insights. Then we decide and we act. This is "to move on". Having gathered sufficient emotional sustenance, knowledge, support and confidence, we face the battlefields of our relationships, fortified and nurtured. This stage characterises those who do not mourn -- but fight; do not grieve -- but replenish their self-esteem; do not hide -- but seek; do not freeze -- but move on. Grieving Having been betrayed and abused -- we grieve. We grieve for the image we had of the traitor and abuser -- the image that was so fleeting and so wrong. We mourn the damage he did to us. We experience the fear of never being able to love or to trust again -- and we grieve this loss. In one stroke, we lost someone we trusted and even loved, we lost our trusting and loving selves and we lost the trust and love that we felt. Can anything be worse? The emotional process of grieving has many phases. At first, we are dumbfounded, shocked, inert, immobile. We play dead to avoid our inner monsters. We are ossified in our pain, cast in the mould of our reticence and fears. Then we feel enraged, indignant, rebellious and hateful. Then we accept. Then we cry. And then -- some of us -- learn to forgive and to pity. And this is called healing. All stages are absolutely necessary and good for you. It is bad not to rage back, not to shame those who shamed us, to deny, to pretend, to evade. But it is equally bad to get fixated on our rage. Permanent grieving is the perpetuation of our abuse by other means. By endlessly recreating our harrowing experiences, we unwillingly collaborate with our abuser to perpetuate his or her evil deeds. It is by moving on that we defeat our abuser, minimising him and his importance in our lives. It is by loving and by trusting anew that we annul that which was done to us. To forgive is never to forget. But to remember is not necessarily to re-experience. (From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

When life is hurting.